she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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