I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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