I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize