Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry angelisamilf hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

Fav 4 1179 944
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make

Fav 60 10555 1196
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

Fav 5 1614 1013
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

Fav 10 2727 997
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

Yupp. And someone's bleeding

Fav 1 1372 607
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.

Fav 10 1548 629
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still

Fav 3 532 743
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out

Fav 0 68 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.

Fav 0 11 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT