Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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