:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize