My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
