Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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