I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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