i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
