woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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