There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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