So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
