Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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