We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
