youre lurking in front of me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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