Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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