In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
