Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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