i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize