i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
