The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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