I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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