I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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