I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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