I just pynch a tree in the face
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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