yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
where am i from again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
