Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize