Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
