well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
