I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I didn't notice because vodka
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
