They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found your dick twin last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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