That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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