Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just pee around me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize