how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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