Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
