when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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