wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
