I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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