he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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