May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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