I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
