alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the gays at disneyland are vicious
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
