dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
