This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
