please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
