So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
and you fell through a lawn chair
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
