We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
