Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
