He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
