i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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