C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
