i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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