I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Holy shit dude........stairs
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