my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Redeem this text for a blowjob
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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