Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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