That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter