is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I came so hard my ears popped.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
