Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I AM VODKA MAN
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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