Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap