I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.