Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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  (847): Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state http://tfl.nu/3q3r
  Replies (58) Good night (1887) Bad night (523)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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  (202): He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex. http://tfl.nu/r46t
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (2612)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

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  (214): Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/dqjd
  Replies (36) Good night (6209) Bad night (582)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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  (404): you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is http://tfl.nu/bwe9
  Replies (19) Good night (9442) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

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  (419): I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem. http://tfl.nu/zh9s
  Replies (29) Good night (1257) Bad night (5940)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.

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  (678): Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina. http://tfl.nu/qhn3
  Replies (11) Good night (795) Bad night (3627)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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  (404): You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised. http://tfl.nu/0upx
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (1105)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door

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  (646): You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door http://tfl.nu/u8he
  Replies (6) Good night (2214) Bad night (855)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight

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  (623): We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight http://tfl.nu/am5b
  Replies (4) Good night (2500) Bad night (700)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.

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  (44): I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game. http://tfl.nu/cpwc
  Replies (2) Good night (1434) Bad night (559)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.

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  (540): i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis. http://tfl.nu/pg6e
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (1262)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.

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  (+44): the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner. http://tfl.nu/ddr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1804) Bad night (875)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.

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  (512): I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them. http://tfl.nu/phm4
  Replies (21) Good night (515) Bad night (4674)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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  (425): I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze! http://tfl.nu/6miw
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.

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  (217): You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me. http://tfl.nu/hr0g
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (206)

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