Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well most of my day revolves around power hour
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?