There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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